The Secret to Solving Your Midlife Identity Crisis - with Dr. Salma Samaha

Dr. Samaha is one of those people who just radiates light. She’s a former academic who decided to retire early at 53 to follow a mission that was pulling at her heart. 

She’s navigated over 30 years of transitions, some by choice and many by chance, including relocating from Lebanon to Canada and moving through everything from divorce to empty nesting. 

She’s truly a "momentum master" who figured out how to stop just surviving change and start actually loving the life she was designing.

We really got into the heart of what it means to grow stronger rather than just older. Salma shared her "Same Roots, New Fruits" philosophy, which is such a refreshing way to look at midlife. It’s not about starting from zero or having a crisis; it’s about using the deep roots you already have to grow something fresh and vibrant.

One of my favorite parts of our talk was her "outdoor anchor" concept. It is so simple but so deep. She talked about how even just looking at the sky or catching a sunset can reset your entire nervous system and remind you that endings can be just as beautiful as beginnings.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re just drifting or stuck in a bit of a midlife rut, you need to hear Salma’s energy. She’s living proof that you can wake up every morning feeling genuinely excited for the day, no matter what chapter you're in.

Connect with Dr. Salma Samaha:

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-salma-samaha/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsalmasamaha/

Self Audit your Midlife!
https://go.midlifetransitionbydesign.com/challenge-freebie

Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.

And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!

Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.

Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to today's episode of Thrive after 45. I'm Denise Drink Walter heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor. And every week I am so honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45. Together, we uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion. What if the transition you are facing right now isn't a setback, but the spark that could ignite the greatest momentum of your entire midlife? It's an honor and an absolute privilege to welcome and introduce Selma Omaha to our show today. Selma is a midlife momentum mentor, and she has lived more life transitions than most of us could ever imagine. Some by choice, many by chance, and through it all, she became known as the momentum master. Because people watched her navigate change with courage, creativity, and this uncanny ability to find solutions that were outside of the box. She brings over 25 years of experience and human behavior. Land connection and outdoor wellness. She spent eight years working directly with people in major life transitions, and over the last three years, she's chosen to focus exclusively on Midlifers. Because at age 53 herself, this season is not theoretical. She understands it from the inside out. Selma's impact has already been felt far and wide. Her content has grown organically to reach more than 20,000 people, and she has already directly supported over 1000 Midlifers through her coaching speaking workshops. Community work. But what makes Selma extraordinary is her gift for guiding Midlifers who feel like they're drifting in empty nesting career changes relocations divorce. Retirement and helping them design an active, intentional life that they truly, truly love. That's grounded in purpose, presence, and progress. This conversation is going to shift something in you. You're going to feel it. So thank you so much, Selma for joining us today and sharing your wisdom, gifts, and talents. I'm so happy to, to be here. Denise, thank you for the invitation and uh, for the mission you're doing. You're doing amazing work, so really thank you for that. Thank you. And we're here to talk about, oh my gosh. I, I read the information that came through and I've been watching you for a while now.'cause we connected a while ago. Yeah. And. Oh my goodness. There is something real and grounded in your presence. Was it always like that or is this something that's been building over time? You know, I must say I'm, I go with the flow. Like, uh, I experienced so many transitions and like instability is part of my daily life. That I embrace it. I embrace it with joy, and it's like, okay, what's coming next? I'm ready. That's why I'm like, I feel I'm ready to that. Like, uh, mm-hmm. I, yeah, that, that's why I literally studied how I overcame all these transitions. And now I have my framework. Okay, let's start. First step, second step. It's uh, it becomes like automatical. Yeah. Okay. So I love that. So you did a study of yourself growing through all of the pains that match you. You know? Yes. Okay. Uh, just to give you an example. Yeah. How many transitions I faced, like my more than 30 years old, uh, friend Charles, he will tell me the only constant. Hair, that's all. So really so empty. Nesting, career changes, relocation, divorce, uh, early retirement. I early retired at 50 to focus on this, uh, wow. Life transition. Really, I wanted to make it my mission because I realized not everyone is, uh. Is building the successfully through midlife, through life transitions in general. Right? And especially midlife transitions. And it's especially midlife. It's like, it's like the copy paste to say, ah, it's midlife crisis. What's this midlife crisis? It's your wake up call. For me, it's a wake up call. Remember? Right? Remember to, to look. Differently. Differently. Change your perspective. Right. For me, it was like this, and it was like every time I was able to build a better and better chapter, uh, that I'm looking forward to wake up every morning. Love that. You know, there's so many people, so many people globally who absolutely desire to have what you just shared. Just to have the ability, the capacity to wake up every morning, just so grateful and joyful because your feet get to hit the floor for another day. Yes, and everybody who I have had. Contact with, had conversations with, have had, you know, different exchanges with are looking outside of themselves for that. And that's where you're, you're shaking your head no, because those of you who are in podcast land don't see the visual. If you're on YouTube, you're gonna see it. But there was a huge smile on SSA's face and a, no, that's not how it works, girl. It isn't, is it? It's not outside. It's your, it's your cap. Everybody has the ability to do this Absolutely. Every single day. Yeah, exactly. And you know, that's why, that's what the nerd in me was. I love it. Yep. I love it. The nerds, Sal studied what made me instinctively Yeah. Succeed. These transitions. Yeah. So now I have these six steps ready. Like why I was sometimes drifting, the reasons why we drift. Because it's not only one reason I'm, I'm telling the nerd in me here. I studied and now okay, because. Like in midlife, I don't wanna keep it to, uh, instinctively, uh, succeed my transition. No. Right. I will follow it and that's why I, uh, I made it my mission. Yeah. You know? Okay. It's very clear. You have to follow these, you know, for you it's, it's very personal to each one. But the question sure would be, the steps are universal, not only for midlife, not only for women, but not only for one specific, uh, transition. Okay. Also. So that's why I want to build this community, you know, because we learn from each other. Yeah. If now I'm experiencing, uh, uh, empty nesting mm-hmm. And Denise, you are experiencing, I don't know, relocation, but I will learn from you when I will experience that. I'll remember. And we need a human connection. Yes. This is what we're missing. Yes. So true AI or everything, you know, I'm the dinosaur. I, I finished my master degree before the invention of internet. So yes, the connection, this is why you are connecting, right? You need a human connection. We need to collaborate not to compete. Yeah. This is the, this is crucial, I think. Mm-hmm. And this is why, like, I love talking to you, Denise. Yeah. And do that imperfectly perfect. Perfection. Don't exist. I was long time ago. A perfectionism. Okay. You know, an example. With my broken English, I'm speaking to all of you in English. Yeah, I speak four languages, Uhhuh, and yes, my audience is everywhere and I don't care. Yeah, if people will, will laugh with my uh, accent. I have a broken English, but I'm celebrating people saying how a three second video changed their day. Yeah. I prefer to focus on that. Absolutely, yes. What? Yes. Isn't that incredible? Because what you, what you focus on gross. Yes. So if you focus on all of the mountain. Yeah, that might be insurmountable as you just look at that mountain. Yeah. Then you will not be able to move any of the. Pieces that need to be moved to start to climb that mountain. But I absolutely love what you're sharing because you have done the research, you have the ability. It's not just you. You have the training. To do research in a very specific manner. It's not, oh, well, I just looked at my notes and went, you are, you have the masters, you are the doctor in the room. So we're not talking somebody who's, oh, well, I put a few clips together. This is somebody in the know, not only cognitively, intellectually, academically, but also. Physically, you are in the throes and so you understand it at a new level. Being in midlife yourself. So there's so many strong foundations in the work that you do and what you're bringing to the world, and I am so grateful that you have taken this path and you have retired early, whatever retirement means.'cause it doesn't mean for us anyway. It does not mean sitting. And just waiting for things to happen. It's like we'd get out there and do it because it's our lives, right? Yeah. Like I retired from my regular, uh, it, it's not like I loved my job. I was in academia for 25 years in the universities and everything, right? Uh, but like imagine my colleagues. Like they were, what are you doing? Like, I literally was elected twice to be Chair of Education, academic Affairs in the International Federation of Landscape Architect. Wow. Like, uh, like yes, I achieved like, uh, highest things in my previous career. I love it. Yeah. You know, part of my framework. And one of the reasons I was able to succeed, this is what I call outdoor anchor. Yes. Because it's not, we're, we're in a world that is seeking complex solutions. No. It's simple things that matters and it's proven by science. You know, I say it very simply because I started sharing, uh, online since the pandemic to make it like, uh, obvious for everyone. Mm-hmm. It's simple, thi uh, simple things like we need to reconnect with the outdoor and we can take it everywhere because I know it's very difficult to build a habit. We don't build a habit linked to. A personal trainer or to a gym or to a specific location. Right. Like having the outdoor anchor will have your growing stronger, not just older tool. Yeah. Moving with you and wherever you you go. Because we have the freedom. We want The freedom, the freedom of location time. And it's compatible to this. Yeah. Yeah. One of the, like the cherry on the top of my, uh, framework. Unique framework. Yeah. The outdoor anchor. Love that be, just like you say, it's there. It's always available. Yes. Outdoor is always there no matter where you are. Yes. And so why not? And nature. Oh, please, yes. That you will not have a better grounding mechanism than nature. It's exactly. Then yeah. And you know, Denise, just for people, because when we say nature, they imagine forests and uh, mountains. Yeah, it's that too. But also when we say nature, it's the sky. You can see like I literally live in the heart. The heart of downtown Montreal. Yeah. Connecting with nature. Look, look, the sky. It's nature. Yeah. It'll change your perspective and it's, it really you reset in one, one minute, like. Don't take decisions sitting on your couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go outside. Yeah. Look, look, look at this guy. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And it's there. It never leaves. So you don't have to go, like you say, you can change locations. Look up. Hello. Exactly. And what a beautiful way to move yourself through different things that. It clears your mind, doesn't it? You talk about the complexity. Yes. I think the world is complex and we need to simplify ourselves. Simplify through it, and what you have provided is exactly that through your steps. Yeah. Love it. When you and it spoke, sorry. And go and it spoke at seven at various levels. Personal, you'll reconnect with yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Also, you reconnect with your surrounding because. It's not your, like your home, it's not, you expand your home when you go outside. Like just go outside. Like your neighborhood will be the extension of your home, literally. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Little by little, like there is a metal, a whole thing in the, I can, uh, talk about, but practically this. This is the secret also to overcome the isolation. Yeah. How the, the new pandemic isolation. Yeah. And, you know, yeah. Yeah. And we'll have the movement walking and all this. Yeah. So it's a whole like growing stronger, not just older. Yeah. Yeah. We wanna grow, we want. We wanna church every minute. Yeah. Like growing older. It's uh, a blessing. Yeah, exactly. It's a blessing, please. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Absolutely. A hundred percent. It is a blessing. And, and as people around who do not get the opportunity to live a life that we get to live. Exactly. It brings it closer even more, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It really does. It really does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I have another question. When you actually look back at your own midlife journey that you're taking, is there a moment or a transition specifically, or not even necessarily a moment,'cause I'm sure it was many, but that truly reshaped your path and led you to the work that you're actually doing today? You know, I think, uh, it made me, th it's mainly revisiting my priorities. Okay. What are my priorities? Yeah. Because, you know, we are okay, midlife and all this. And, uh. What are my prior priorities? I don't like, I was never a one day person like I really act. Mm-hmm. I take action. Yeah. But, uh, like a friend of mine, Pascal, only one, like if a school friend mm-hmm. Only one week older than me died last year. It was Oh my God. Yeah. No, I like people. And, you know, it's not that I didn't experience, uh, you know, uh, death and everything. I was born, uh, I was three years old, uh, when, uh, the, the wars in Lebanon started. I'm a Lebanese Canadian. Lebanese Canadian, so I experienced war and, uh. And, you know, loss and everything. And, uh, this, it's not an age thing, right? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't think about that. It's like a lot of people will say midlife, we think because we are close to that. Who told you? Yeah. Who told you? Like now with the expansion and everything? No, we can live more and more till hundred and much more. So, no. And even if, uh, someone is retired at 60 mm-hmm. They have minimum 20, 25 years. And for me it'll be 40 years minimum. And when you will reach your a hundred years, you will maybe research will allow us to, uh, to, uh, live longer. Yeah. But we want to live stronger. Yeah. So for me it'll be, no, I church, I want to. I want as many as people to cherish waking up every morning. I want them to remember that they can design that. It's never too late to design the life. They love waking up. They love living. Yeah, the life they love living. It's not like they are killing time. I'm sure you hear like a lot of people Oh, it's good. Like this time will pass. No, no. It's, it's our cherish time. Yes. Yes. This is our most precious resource. This is, I made it my mission. I want people to cherish time to, to enjoy simple pleasures of life and know midlife. It's just another chapter and we'll have, even in midlife, we'll have various chapters. Mm-hmm. Sure. It's not like, yes. Yeah. So it's, I want people to remember that constant, that the change is the only constant. Yeah. And I think people forget that and they are like astonished when change happens. Yeah. But it's a constant, when it's constant, when, when it's a lot of routine, it's, you need to think about it. Am I, am I imprisoning? Am myself in my comfort zone. It'll become like imprisonment, like it's your prison you made yourself. Because there to change there, to follow your dream. You don't wanna reach a day where you say, oh, I wish I had, uh, done this. Write a letter for your 90 years old and what, what? She'll thank you about a decision you'll take today. Perfect. It's never too late. Never too late. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for that action step. Write that letter to your 90-year-old self. I hear all the time. What would you write to the, your younger. No, what a great letter to write to your 9,100 yesterday. Yes, I saw an incredible woman at 105. Yes. Run. I don't know if you've seen that. It's going around Instagram, but I saw her run at 105, um, a hundred meters or something, and I'm like, you. Go sister. Like, yes, you live every day because you, you've chosen to do that, right? And it's your choice. Yeah. You know, Denise, I remember because we put our limits. Yeah. And we need to be aware. The first thing to do is be aware of where we are now. Because I remember back when I was, uh, 45, my brother told me, come I'm training for the marathon. Come train with me. I told him, no, no, no. I'm a hiker. Oh. After when I realized that in my. It was S You're 45, huh? We'll run a marathon. It was the same day I decided I will run for a marathon. Okay. And I remember in November 11th I said, okay, before the end of the year, I will run five kilometer without stopping. It was the challenge for me. Yeah. Until date. So it 1245. Now I'm 53. I already ran. For marathons. I, I'm preparing the next one here, uh, Montreal Marathon in October, 2026. Yep. And, and you know what, what was challenging for me, it took me six weeks to prepare to run the 5K. Now it's, for me, it'll be, oh, Sal, you still have only 5K. It became nothing. It's not like. It changed. Changed, but me, I became stronger. Yeah. Should just start small. Whatever you forget. Perfect. Uh, for Yep. Do it imperfectly. Perfect. And start small. Yeah. And you know, I believe in daily actions. Mm-hmm. I will not go to the gym once a week. Mm-hmm. I will do my magic combo. One minute squat. One minute, uh, planks. One minute bridge. And five minutes of mobility every day. I can do them everywhere. Yes. There you go. Yep. That's it. Transferable. Yeah, exactly. All you need is your body. You don't even need equipment. I love that. And never stop. Yeah. Yeah. No quick fixes. No quick fixes. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. You know, we. Speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Faster, quick. The moment. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah, no, exactly. Exactly. It's, it's so true that being present is so empowering and yeah, it is again, our show. This is all for you by you because of you. Yes. Nobody else holds the, okay, now you do it. Now you do it. Now you do it. You mentioned about the personal trainer. We are all about giving our audience. Ideas, techniques, possibilities that exist. Yes. Because you are a perfect example and all of your people and clients you've supported over the years and continue to do an amazing job, you know, with all of your content, making sure that they understand that it's your decision and you take your actions and you do the consistency. And like you say, everything changes all the time. So. Don't worry about that. That's, that's life. That's what we have. That's life. It's the reality. You know? If I can add, uh, something I'll, yes. Mm-hmm. Like I love to stack things like yes, sunset are every day everywhere, and it's not long. Like consider it as your me time. You are doing everything to everyone. You need your me time for you? What about linking your me time to an amazing time of the day Sunset? Yeah. And it shows that, uh, endings can be beautiful and it's only like a, uh, see you tomorrow. That's it. So make it a habit. Mm-hmm. To. To use sunset time as your me time to be grounded and remind yourself of everything you want to be aware of what you want, what you don't want, what you love, what you don't love every day. Yeah, because you need the, give yourself the permission. Give yourself the permission, like, yeah. Until midlife, usually we don't, uh, give ourselves a lot of time for ourselves. No. Yeah. And set is the reminder. There you go. Yes. And it's, and it's a da like you've already said, it's a daily thing. It's never going to fail you. Yes. So use that. That already exists in our universe. That happens on a regular basis. I love it. And it's not, you don't need to spend money to find it. You don't need to. It's such it. You don't need to get everybody else prepped so you can go and have your me time. Right? Yeah. It's like there, it's natural. Do it. It is for you. By you because of you. And it's such an easy thing to commit to because it doesn't take forever and it's always available every night. Yes. Love that. Love that. You know, another thing that reminds me when I look, because it's my daily thing, uh, yeah, sunset. I compare sunsets and I notice that when we have, when we have clouds mm-hmm. Sunset becomes more like amazing. Like it's, it's very literally, it's surreal and I compare like a life without any problems. Like the sky without any clouds. Okay. The sunset is nice. It's also, but when with all the clouds, it's magical. Love that. And you know, there is no sunset identical to another one. Yeah. And you'll realize that like with our phone tuck, if you take one picture of the sunset every day, yeah. It'll be Wow. Very cool. You'll be looking forward to, to witness another one. I love that. That is a great way to do it too, because it not only captures the essence of it, but it allows you to go back and look at, oh my gosh, I have done this habit stacking for exactly a month. Yes, I've done it for two months. Right. So I love that. Yes. One more question that I want to throw back to you, that I'm excited to hear what you're gonna share, but when you think about the future, what is the vision that you actually have for how your mission will grow? I would love. Like, my mission will be like to stop the copy pasting of midlife crisis. No, it's not a crisis because all over our year, our life, like we are questioning ourself when, uh, as teenagers, as young adults as everything. It's the same for midlife. We, it's, it's a best way, I think to expand because we have, yeah. All the knowledge, all the experience. We're not starting from zero. It's like what I, uh, what I call like, like same roots, new fruit. It's my, the workshop. I, I love that same new roots. Love it. The tree is here. Yeah. The fruits are there. We're, we're growing new fruits. We're not starting from zero. Whatever your dream is, it's never too late. No, just start. Just start. And you never know who or you're inspiring. No, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. New. Same roots, new fruits. Yes, there it is. I love that. I love that. Join, join Denise. I'll send you the details for the workshop. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Actually, we will have your contact information and everything. People need to be able to find you and follow you and see where your workshops are and all of the information, how to reach out and, and have more conversation with you. So Sama, thank you so much for your light. It is amazing to have shared this time with you. It is so, such a blessing, such a gift. Thank you. Thank really, um. I'm grateful I have met ese. Grateful for the internet and the social media. Everyone is, uh, like criticizing. There is always a positive side to things and one of them is meeting ese. And thank you for inviting me. I'm happy about the mission you, you gave, you gave yourself, and I'm happy to collaborate even more Yeah. Beyond this podcast. Absolutely. It really has been a pleasure and I know we will continue to stay connected and you never know. Keep your eye on things, people, you never know what's gonna happen. Um, thank you so. So much for being with us today. Make sure I told you that something would happen as you listened to this and we did not lie. I'm sure you felt its, um, Selma's energy, her ability to. I don't think she stopped smiling. If you haven't, if you're not watching on the YouTube channel, she is a absolute beam of joy and light and it exudes from all of her pores. And there's a reason because she has a mission and a belief that when you give back to yourself and you take what's given to you and you take action to see. The positive side of it and what you can do to move yourself forward every single day. Movement motion. Through nature, look up at the sky, be connected. You are already take what's here and available for you. So make sure that you follow, like share, give us reviews. They help all of us spread this incredible message far and wide. Have a wonderful day everyone, and make sure you go check out tonight's sunset as day one. Yes.